Tuesday, September 8, 2015

i'm stuck here and I don't know what I'm doing

I have been working for the same corporate company in my hometown here in Malaysia for almost seven years now. Yet i'm still holding the same position as i entered this company on 2008. Some of my co-workers had been migrating to the other company to get better position and pay but I'm still here. Some of my friends and clients had been wondering why I'm still here. Why I'm still an engineer. Why don't I migrate to other company despite my experiences and knowledge. No, I'm not loyal and no, i didn't refuse to attend any interview invitations.



One of my client called me a moron because I once had turned down an offer to replace my former boss but referred a co-worker to take up the position and now, I am his subordinate. Well, I have my own reason.

Among all interviews attended, there was an interview that I remember most , an interview for a project engineer position with a tank maintenance contractor. At the first segment, I was being interviewed by the GM of the company. It went very well, not so much technical questions asked. I answered every questions asked confidently. The atmosphere changed when his project manager entered the room. He asked set of a very technical question which I got to answer all of them. Then he asked some management related questions. He asked for specific words of every project management tasks. I failed to give him the words. I had been doing project management for 7 years but still can't give the words he wanted. I have been working day and night without knowing what i am doing.

I am a Computer Engineering Graduate from University of Technology Malaysia. I started off my career as a system engineer for a year before enrolling in Welding Inspection Course certified by BINDT. Then I started working in a very different field. The project manager told me that I won't go further in this field as a project engineer because my computer engineering degree won't be of any help in tender bidding exercise. Certain clients are very strict in technical background assessment. Then I realize why I'm stuck. After the interview, I stop applying for project engineer position and start applying for marketing position. I got zero interview invitation.

For some people that are still asking on why I didn't take up the offer to replace my ex-boss, my answer is I don't want to be alone. There is a saying that says the higher your position, the loner you become. You will be surrounded by the people that only want something in return instead of true friends. I could see the thing happened to my current boss which is my ex-co worker back then. He is lonely, subordinate feel uneasy and feel like being forced to accompany him at the cafe. I don't want that thing.

For now, I'm waiting for me and my family 571 visa approval following my wife to pursue her study in Australia. We will be there for 2 years beginning next February. This is the real reason actually why I'm stuk here. God knows what best for me. Maybe this is the turning point for me to start a new life, a new field of work after those 2 years. Thank you God.


2 comments:

DRAMATIC UNIQ said...

yuppp...!! God knows what best for u.
just be positive and open your heart... :)


Khairul Hilmi Sidek said...

thank you..

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